Give me my roses....

OK, so I am STILL in school for my EMT license & today was a rough one. I have always thought myself to be a pretty strong woman. Able to handle just about anything. I mean I have spent hours looking at the most gory crime scenes, the bloodiest accidents, all to prepare myself to be so close to death that I might just feel their soul leave their body. However, NOTHING and I do mean NOTHING could have prepared me for today.... I witnessed someone alive, but only by the grace of God & the medicne of modern technology.  Just  being so close to someone on their way to the other side, generally makes you reflect on your own life & how you could make the most of everyday. It makes you want to experience more things, conquer some fears, step outside of your everyday routine. And don't know if you have ever heard this, but after my clinicals today I see more clearly than ever the meaning of "Give me my roses while I'm still here."

Hello 2013

I  am happy to say that I made it to 2013!! In one piece, with my peace, sanity, my loves, my health & my faith stronger than ever. In the last year I learned A LOT. I have learned to be patient, to actually live & do it with a little less fear! This year I brought in the new year with my family & as the clock struck 12, I was holding my daughter as I kissed the love of my life! And to be honest, when our lips touched, I felt something in my body jolt..... I was wonderful & scary all at the same time & to me it confirmed that he is the love of my life.... OK enough sappy stuff!! On to my resolution. Yes, only 1! And it is: be a better me all the way around.
I mean it includes everything that I think will make me a better Me than I was in 2012. So yes, that means better nutrition, getting in shape but on a more realistic scale! It also means saying what needs to be said & doing what needs to be done. See, I'm one of those people who gives a dam about other peoples feelings & I once bit my tongue. A LOT! I vow to do what Iyanla Vanzant calls "Calling a thing a thing" I have decided that life is better lived not holding thing on your chest & in your heart. It takes up space & time that could be used for love & compassion for the people who deserve it. So there it is. I hope you all brought in the new year safely & best wishes for all of 2013.

Well tell us how you really feel!

Maybe it is me... Maybe I have been naive to the fact... But until November of 2012, never have I witnessed such blatant racism & disrespect. I think it is pointless to say that everyone of our ancestors, black, white & indifferent, that have ever fought for equality, have turned over in their graves. Twice. I mean my mouth just hits the floor when I hear of the remarks & petitions to secede & the threats to the president.  And in all honesty, a LOT of the remarks are made by people that do not poses the necessary capabilities to withdraw from throwing temper tantrums in comparable to that  of 5 year old. I also do not think they fully understand the point of political debates nor presidential races. There are ways & conditions that call for one to agree to disagree. And one of those conditions are when the difference of opinions leads to the degrading of race, color, or religion. It is beyond me that the idiots making majority if the comments, have likely for years been in the company of great friends whom are black or Latino. Now that this degree of severe, perhaps unforgivable disrespect has been shown, a much needed bridge has been burned, without thought, cast into deep dark waters to be washed away, and quite frankly pissed upon. Blessed am I to have been passed over by the comments directly from people that I actually know. I can agree to simply disagree with an opinion and walk away with my dignity. I think it is down right ignorant to classify a certain race as lazy, or entitled when you know nothing about the other than what ethnicity they appear to be. It is beyond me how, until now, blacks & Latinos were somewhat on the same playing field, are suddenly less than their white counterparts. Trying to raise a child in a world that, I now see, will not look at her & treat her equally, even though she has been taught by her parents and school, that so many fought & died so that she may be given all the rights & opportunities as any other person, I am worried.

Welcome Back!! (Hello again)

OK so, I obviously have been away for quite some time..... During my hiatus, I have started school. I will one day become a working, knowledgeable, life saving Paramedic! I am very excited! As the new year started, the only resolution I made was to completely accept myself for what I really am & not what anyone else would like for me to be. And with that I have come to the realization that I always have good ideas & plans. My intentions are to start & complete these in the shortest amount of time with maximum results... That however doesn't always seem to be the way it all pans out. I will start off very well, yet 1-2 weeks in, I tend to have lose motivation. But NOW?? Watch out! I am determined, I am motivated & I seem to have found & taken hostage the inner drive that I couldn't seem to hold onto before!!! When you were a child, you always had a thousand things that you wanted to be when you grew up. Not me. I only wanted to be a Paramedic. No doctor, no superwoman, no president of the US. Just a Paramedic. And now that I am actually doing just that... I feel liberated. It proves to me that I can do more than I ever thought I could. That if you put your mind to something, you REALLY can do anything! Cliche, yes, but very true. This for some is just a small feat but to me, someone who couldn't commit to any one task, almost ever, it means the world. Wish me luck!!!

Sexuality

I'm soooo unsure of a safe post title for this one because it is such a touchy subject.... Homosexuality. Gays. Lesbians. Transgender. There, I said it!! Everyone has their own feelings about it. I don't see the need to go into a debate about it. After all, its their decision as to who the sleep with, wake up to, and spend their private time with.  In my head there are different "levels" of gays. You always have the Secret Gay/Lesbian, the one who hangs with the other "family"  but refuses to admit that they are "family" (totally didn't know what that meant until like 2 years ago.) You have your Awesome Gay/Lesbian that everyone seems to love! They are comfortable in their own skin, they are very easy to get along with & they don't hide who they are. And then you have the (DUH DUH DUH DUUUUUHHH) Flamboyant, LOUD, DRAMA FILLED, IN YO FACE, ALWAYS GOTTA BE SEEN Gay/Lesbian. And some people may mesh well with all 3. I don't know... Any who, today I saw some photos of a guy I know through a 3rd party & he was in full, head to toe, drag wear. Problem? No, absolutely not. In fact he was a very pretty woman once he was all done up. But as I was observing his make up I couldn't help but to question whether the transgender/cross dressing society really view women in the fashion that they portrait us. In all honesty, do you really think a woman walks around looking like we have snowflakes taking ownership of our cheek bones? So you really think our eyebrows have arch's like the Gateway Arch of St. Lewis? I would just prefer that when mimicking a woman's face, features or sorts, do it tastefully & don't make us look like a caricature drawn at a county fair. especially of you seem to be more comfortable dresses as one of us. I am very open to someone giving me a little more insight on this, seeing that I don't have any close Gay or Lesbian friends! In the meantime, present us well you fierce diva you!!

The Ex-Effect

Sometimes, It soooo haaaard to say goooooodbye to yeeesteeeerrrrdaaaayyyy. Then sometimes its swift, clean, & painless. But why is it that even long after all parties, or at least half of the couple, has moved on, some seem to show their ugly heads? I once dated a guy I'll call "The Serpent" (& trust that the name does him very much justice) that was a bad a bad decision from the first "date". But at the time I was in a rebellious, "I am the master of my own destiny" & "I'll do whatever I want, This is MY LIFE, HEAR ME ROAR" stage & kept this guy around out of pure spite of everyone I had, up until that point, lived my life to satisfy. I always knew that even though we had known each other since middle school & somewhere deep down inside, there was a tiny, teeny, weeny piece of a decent man, that he would never be the one waiting for me at the alter let alone be anything long term. So no there was no hurt when I called it quits. There was somewhat of a relief though. But over a year & a half later, I seem to have run-ins that are very unwelcome, more recently in my office. Time & time again it has been proven that dwelling in the was & used to be only prolongs your healing & ability to deal with the now & is of life. It leaves me to question why it is so hard to simply let bygones be bygones?

When Stopping, Looking & Leasing

OK, so we all have some level of expectation when it comes to customer service. However, that does NOT entitle one to Royal treatment. I have worked in several different fields, all of which were customer service oriented, but it wasn't until I entered into the apartment leasing/management industry that I witnessed such f**kery in adults. And I do mean f**kery. I mean to go to a eatery & have the a truly awful experience food & service wise does call for a word with the manager & hopes of them correcting the issue & perhaps offering you a free meal or 2. But, in the housing industry, there are just some people that need a swift hard meeting with 5 fingers to the face. Some people come looking for a custom built place to fit every want on their list of impossibilities. One thing to keep in mind is that unless you have a personal relationship with the builders, not one of your opinions were taken into consideration during the construction of an apartment community. The point of a multiple housing property is to house multiple people as comfortable as possible while taking full advantage of the space provided. Some people are built for it, some, not so much, but don't ruin the opportunity for someone else to make that judgement on their own because you feel the need to lash out about this or that. 90% if reviews I've read have been from people/persons who are simply throwing a tantrum because they could not have something their way. I myself have been sold a dream when it came to apartment home living. And yes, some things just can not go without being said. Be mindful of how you speak to & treat others. It could be you, your mother, father, son, granddaughter or elderly grandmother on the receiving end of that. As most people who look to get the most out of their money, I myself have a standard of living that I would be hard pressed to lower for any one reason so I am not by far encouraging anyone to change their own to appease their  agent.  I am simply saying that if you have much more cons than you have pros, it is best for all involved , that you just walk away. (That piece of advice fits into more than just real estate. Feel free to apply where needed!)